i dont get it i cant small talk with anyone preventing me from making the first step in forming meaningful human connection with anyone ! ! ! ! !

yes

so you've found a person you want to make a first step in forming a genuine human connection with, Congrats.
personally i don't think you should try to mask your nature in an interaction like this, because long term they will end up seeing you anyway.
also "small talk" has two primary functions - one is to allow people who have no interest or reason to interact the ability to participate in a social engagement. this function is boring and useless, and can be met the same way as the other function.
the other is to maintain a long term relationship with someone when you don't have many common interests. this function is better served by finding something you can find interesting among the other persons' interests.

you should know what it is about them that made you interested in wanting to approach them. ie. they are wearing a band shirt of a band you also like, they have cool hair, they have mentioned xyz thing, etc.
so just approach and say something like "oh xyz thing, I'm into that too, what do you think about zyx(related thing to xyz)?"
remember they are able to read vibes just as you are, so they might just shut you down this is fine. move on, try to understand why if you want. or don't.
or they might start talking about it. if they do, just follow the thread. congrats you did it.

>>3 is right

oh woah genuine human connection, I'm into that too, what do you think about friendship?

>>5
I ain’t the one asking sis, just tellin it like it is. Increasing a social group takes continual upkeep and some times it just ain’t worth it, so I’ve let my circle contract to like 5 people and even that feels like too damn much. But I guess if you want 5 quality connections it is often better to cast a wider net then trim down.
But seriously water cooler talk is all about “latest Netflix show” because most normies purposefully choose to be interested in it specifically to have some shared interest with those around them. Shit be popular because it’s popular.
Genuine connection has to come from some shared context, culture shit is an easy go to. But if needed you can fall back on respiration. Breathing sure is a cool thing. I love swimming in this shared pool with others and putting bits of their sluffed off skin inside me repeatedly my whole life

>>1
it's an object oriented programming language https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smalltalk

oh I just remembered how I made one of my first friends it was trough small talk, turned out we watched the same tv movies every evening on the same action movie channel, so we just talked about the movie we watched yesterday and how crazy and funny it was, small talk is underated

hm. I don't think I actually dislike smalltalk, on its own. I think I coniditioned myself to be adverse to it because of my timidity. If I like the person, isn't it enough to talk about any random mundane stuff? It helps to be observant of your suroundings, if you zone out too much then that's where it becomes difficult to find small stuff to talk about. Smalltalk is just to get your foot into the door, after that you can gauge how comfortable you are with this person and what topics would be interesting to them.

The thing with smalltalk is that it isn't really supposed to convey useful information or facilitate a proper connection in its own right. If it feels empty, that's because it is. It's not so much a conversation as a performance with the trappings of a conversation that you go through to prove that you're a functioning human being. Once you're done with the human modem handshake you switch the topic to something you actually care about.

Let's start from basics. 2 + 10 * 10 will be 120, not 102. You can force it to calculate the way you do in algebra by using brackets 2 + (10 * 10).

Hope this helped out :)

the true enemy of small talk is zingers and heckling which makes it insanely stressful to even approach anyone without being shut down, if you are good with that stuff its a different story, its probably the underlying unspoken relations between the poeple that determine these things, theres also allot of modern day fears and insecurities that make small talk a non-starter