You gaze at your computer screen, looking for something to do that won't trigger some form of anxiety in relation to your responsibilities. Nothing but empty spectacle it seems, the most beautiful things on the planet reduced to an advanced array of lights.
You read an article, find it rather interesting, but know in the back of your head that you won't retain half of the information contained in it.
Was there anything really interesting left? How did you get here? Has novelty truly died now that you have reached that age where you start to realize that you are no longer new? No longer a seed of potential with the world at your finger tips?

You try and see if there is anyone awake to talk to, anyone that can prevent you from diving into the maelstrom of existential dread with only your own mind to consort with.
But it's 3am, nobody is coming to your aid. You switch off your monitor and climb into your sheets, maybe if you fall asleep quickly enough the thoughts will go away.
They don't, instead they follow you into the deep pit of sleep and cast themselves as characters in a play where the stage is infinite in all directions. Inescapable and self-inflicted.
An apparition reaches from the abyss of the subconscious ready to strike you down, its form obscured as to not drive you an inch further toward madness.
Suddenly you awaken to the morning sun, leaping from your bed you gaze upon the sky that is both marmalade and pink. You begin to cry.

>>1
I can fap to this. nice piece, please write more. this was enjoyable to read.

it's 3.30 am, and you ate only breakfast today, spent day lying flat, reading & browsing. From one ai generated neocite to other, nothing useful, but some designs are fun. just like in your childhood 25 years ago. How zoomers are capable of doing such websites and why? Isn't it irrational? How old is this dude, 20? Gosh, he weren't being born, when websites like that were published! Why does he do that?
Either way, hungry and tired, with red blood vessels on eyes, you drive away in to realm of sleepness. Only to be awaken 3 hours later by bright sun radiation, loud drill noise from the wall and workers going here & there.
A new day, new beginning, new morning. You just want to quick check what's going on the board, which threads got replies, you plugging wire & electricity, it's 9:00 am , 1 minute later, it's 21:00 , time to prepare for some sleep you say, some good reading won't hurt. What was the name of that fancy chan that you haven't visited in a months, oh, it's offline.

... What is this coarse dryness, like a thick film of dried milk and dust that entered your respiratory system during the late night hours of your sleep, still trying to hold onto a semblance of the dream you just had, your head twisting and turning like theres a big ball of mucus floating around in your head weighing it down trying deperately to take control of your motor functions while it feels like the room is spinning in an endless dance, trying ... still trying, to subconsciously make sense of the deep thumping base entering your ears, when finally... it snaps, this thing you call your awareness peeling away your sweet sweet nothingness, you realize theres a car a block away loudly playing what you can vaguely guess is new gen trap music, you had slept on your back and mouth breathed all night till your throat was dry, the years of noise pollution ruining your eardrums combined with the lack of iron in your malnurtured body bringing on the worst vertigo, first thing your ill rotten mind thinks to do is reach for the phone, you felt like youve slept for ages yet it seems its only 4 in the morning, ... "fucking ni****s", you curl back into bed.