it's possible anime is just not for you, and that's ok. Even if you have an interest in otaku culture but don't like anime, you may find more enjoyment from manga for example. But i'd like to analyse your post for a second.

From what you're saying, it seems like you're into the classic sort of "high tier" or as you put it "adult themes" type of anime, and you dislike the popular shounen anime like aot, "theres only so much super powered anime boy beating up monsters i can watch."

In that case, I think it might be best to look outside of the most popular action shows for the more mature anime, perhaps classed as "seinen" rather than "shounen". There are wonderful shows which are very far from super powered anime boy beating up monsters, from across anime history. The mainstream anime fandom is mostly made up of teenagers, and most anime is targeted at teenagers. But that is not all there is. If you're looking for recommendations,I think you would like mushishi, if you can become comfortable with a show with a bit of a slower, more thoughtful pace. I'd also ask you to look into the moe side of anime, perhaps start with k-on and see if it does anything for you. If you want recommendations for more philosophical anime like lain, just ask and I can provide a list.