no idea why no alternatives exist to ash.net.holiday type stuff (or im just terrible at finding them)
also refuse to pour out feelings to some government fuck or they'll cage me and test newest psych meds on me or farm me like eugenic livestock
not depression i think, rather anhedonia corroding from within like oxidation with no salvation
eventually must play final sudoku without awaiting more shameful decay or i glimpse my future and present condition hardly distinguishable from postmortem state
hope for nothing anymore expect nothing, just wish all recollections of me permanently erased from others minds
wont take anyones life since illegal and prosecutable, also sinful, and self-imprisonment voluntarily is pinnacle foolishness, one must commit genocide of selves
merely void remains ahead and thats everything