you're afraid of seeking out someone who wants to hurt you more than you want to be hurt.
i've been beaten and bruised, the beatings were routine so the bruises could stay fresh, i've been cut to bleed--carved deep and carved over fresh scars, i've been choked unconscious and i've done it all willingly. i once disolcated a girl's shoulder and it was one of the most intimate experiences i've had. cutting is good and all, but have you ever cut while someone goaded you on? "youve got this, you can go deeper." when you get woozy who will remind you to sterilize it with rocksalt and lemon juice? i suppose that might not be far enough for you, but i can assure you that there are those out there who would love to bring you to the point of begging for mercy.
it's not as easy to surprise yourself as it is for another to surprise you.
cope.
you're afraid of seeking out someone who wants to hurt you more than you want to be hurt.
i've been beaten and bruised, the beatings were routine so the bruises could stay fresh, i've been cut to bleed--carved deep and carved over fresh scars, i've been choked unconscious and i've done it all willingly. i once disolcated a girl's shoulder and it was one of the most intimate experiences i've had. cutting is good and all, but have you ever cut while someone goaded you on? "youve got this, you can go deeper." when you get woozy who will remind you to sterilize it with rocksalt and lemon juice? i suppose that might not be far enough for you, but i can assure you that there are those out there who would love to bring you to the point of begging for mercy.
it's not as easy to surprise yourself as it is for another to surprise you.