I have the sudden urge to type on my keyboard a whole lot this evening for some reason, I do not know where this has come from at all I think tonight is just one of those nights where I am thinking way too much and it is way too quiet, I dunno Whenever this would happen I would usually go for a long /nightwalk/ in order to tire myself out so that I could just lie down in bed and drift away to some music or something I live with family though, and this neighborhood is not the best nor is it that kind that I can walk through unnoticed. Which sucks. A lot of the time I think about how the hell I got to this point in my life where I am post random shit on a text board I start out by rolling back in my head until the memories fade out, then I tune into those fleeting childhood moments balh you get it I try and trace the line of events that led me here, but the more I do that and discover the reasons behind things the more I am, disappointing? Like was it really that? I always used to hang out with people of a dubious character, as well as punk and punk adjacent folk. However I was always known as the clean skin, the one that looked pretty smart. It's only until recently I would say the last couple of years that I decided to lean into the sort of fashion that surrounds the subculture. I'm not getting younger so I might as well indulge myself in it and get this delayed adolescence period sorted out
Thankfully I feel more like myself then I ever have done before, for many reasons. I have spoken to many older alternative types, a hippy guy who took a shittonne of acid and mesc in the 70' and 80's, an old black DJ who was into musquie concrete, two drifters I met who were both named John who gave me advice on how to start drifting when I was ready as well as my uncle who taught me how to use iron sites and shoot as well as other things
I think I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens I dunno what else to write really my hands are just typing what I am thinking at his minute, I think I might go and makes a cheese sandwich, even though cheese apparently causes nightmares? Ah I don't give a shit I'm fucking starving dude
I think tonight is just one of those nights where I am thinking way too much and it is way too quiet, I dunno
Whenever this would happen I would usually go for a long /nightwalk/ in order to tire myself out so that I could just lie down in bed and drift away to some music or something
I live with family though, and this neighborhood is not the best nor is it that kind that I can walk through unnoticed. Which sucks.
A lot of the time I think about how the hell I got to this point in my life where I am post random shit on a text board
I start out by rolling back in my head until the memories fade out, then I tune into those fleeting childhood moments balh you get it
I try and trace the line of events that led me here, but the more I do that and discover the reasons behind things the more I am, disappointing?
Like was it really that?
I always used to hang out with people of a dubious character, as well as punk and punk adjacent folk. However I was always known as the clean skin, the one that looked pretty smart. It's only until recently I would say the last couple of years that I decided to lean into the sort of fashion that surrounds the subculture. I'm not getting younger so I might as well indulge myself in it and get this delayed adolescence period sorted out
Thankfully I feel more like myself then I ever have done before, for many reasons.
I have spoken to many older alternative types, a hippy guy who took a shittonne of acid and mesc in the 70' and 80's, an old black DJ who was into musquie concrete, two drifters I met who were both named John who gave me advice on how to start drifting when I was ready as well as my uncle who taught me how to use iron sites and shoot as well as other things
I think I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens
I dunno what else to write really my hands are just typing what I am thinking at his minute, I think I might go and makes a cheese sandwich, even though cheese apparently causes nightmares? Ah I don't give a shit I'm fucking starving dude